There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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