Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
