Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
