At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
