Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
