And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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