No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
where are you?
Hypothermia
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
