when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How naked do you want me to be?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
