Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
