Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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