i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
