Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
