she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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