Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
