Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
