It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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