I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
