butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
whose parrot is this?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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