we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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