at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
