Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
