Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
