Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
