i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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