I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
