Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you never un-have a 4some
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
