so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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