dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
