Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
