he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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