If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
