white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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