"it" just moved
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
