Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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