come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
