Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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