Your tits are I can't wait for
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
