i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
