Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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