Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
