She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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