plz talk dirty to me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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