I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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