He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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