A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
