I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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