i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
