I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
