So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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