My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
