dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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