How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
