fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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